Wednesday, August 15, 2007
9:18 PM
Some times it is funny how we reflect the different paths of our lives.
Browsing through other's blogs that reminded me of me back then (The strengths).
Some times I wonder how I landed the way I currently am.
Going back to square one of bumpy roads.
Remembering those days in Trinity.
A fresh-ie in Melbourne.
Learning how to be independent.
Choosing the right units,
Idealistic & going all out to try for Medicine.
Gave up on Medicine & tried Business.
Gave that up & tried psychology.
Entering into Uni first year,
Struggled with Marketing hoping that I could get away from business by doing Arts.
I was practically a floater. Partial one.
But I moulded into a Perfect Perfectionist, where my fashion styles took a drastic turn.
However living in a new environment all alone in a Big house.
Life gets tough.
Cleaned up certain acts & pulled myself together.
Got myself out in the more realistic world.
It was literally learning to survive in a world alone.
Of course thats how I drifted into smoking.
But cut down on 3 times weekly clubbing.
With the addition of more house parties with a new found 'family'.
This was my worst year as an independent person, with many more events that contributed to this year.
Moving back into the city,
I had to accommodate myself back in the lively spirit of the city.
Of course getting use to traveling back and fro to different uni campus, esp Berwick.
It was a semester in which Nicole became my part-time house mate. We don't live together, but we practically see each other almost 24/7 a day.
Second semester came where things started going back downhill.
A perfectionist I was disappeared.
Emotional person I became. (Quirks of seeing someone properly).
Funny enough though I got back to square 1 of doing business units,
I managed to scrap through this semester with a series of unpredictable events and rapid loss of weight (more than usual, at least 5-8kg, I was merely Bones =).
Early this year, I was pleasantly in my 3rd year,
With the Uni being a pain in the ass by not offering the unit I wanted to do.
In which my perfect place of graduating with less stress disappeared.
Overloading & doing 2 units I loathe.
It was not easy.
Comments flew here & there,
Struggling to stand back up & find back the perfectionist self chances were slim.
Of course the semester ended up crap.
2 units gone & many more events that came through.
Now I feel like I am back to square 1.
I feel like a teenager once again struggling to find back the routes.
Finding back broken pieces that flew away in all ways.
For once,
The road never felt as long as this.
As grey as this felt.
With emotions running wild,
I feel like a unknown stranger even to myself.
I just know,
I am starting from scratch all again.
But this time,
Truly walking with God & learning.
Some times, everyone has to be careful with what they pray for.
Because they do come true.
But Only God knows whether you can handle what he rains over you.
I hope,
I will come back Stronger & better.
A whole new person.
Because he did save a Wretched Soul like me.
Amen.
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